Jackelopette

Where to start, where to start…

I suppose I’ll just do some bullets and explain as needed… or perhaps I’ll simply let you ask for clarification in comments and other emails.

* David forgot his passport.
* We missed our shuttle bus, so we parked near the airport and left the car there for two weeks.
* At first we didn’t get upgraded, so we hung out in the lounge.
* Got upgraded to upper business class, with the sleeper cubicles, nice blankets, free food and drink and copious entertainment.
* Saw The John Snow pub, and the pump, on our first night there.
* Rode the London Eye and toured Westminster Abbey.
* Went to Bristol and saw the Banksy takeover of the City Museum there.
* Visited Covent Garden and its lovely shops.
* Rode horses in Hyde Park.
* Saw Godot banner outside the theater in Haymarket.
* David waited in line for a few hours to get us tickets…
* Wandered the Greek and Egyptian exhibits at the British Museum, which was delightfully near our hotel.
* Saw Waiting for Godot with Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen. For ten pounds each, we were just a couple of feet from the stage, at eye level with it, and close enough to be spat upon. And we now have a signed poster. Magical.
* Tower of London.
* ER Visit. Then more wanderings along the river, a food faire, and more Tower.
* Packing and Covent Garden again.
* Flight to DC.
* Lunch with Bob
* The Buying of Beers. Many beers.
* Dinner with Elizabeth, Maria, and Dawson.
* Taxis, the Mall, and other shenanigans with the family.
* Katie and the Congress Members Only elevator.
* Aunt Cindy arguing with Elton Gallegly.
* The F-22 filibuster.
* The incessant photos. Also “don’t worry, everyone can tell anyway”…
* The car chase.
* 4-H people at Union Station.
* Cigars on the roof.
* Train to New York
* Burritos
* Subway riding to Ground Zero
* Meeting Heather at Times Square
* Outstanding dinner at the Greek place for Restaurant Week
* Early departure for West Point
* Confusing directions
* West Point Tour – imagination and stories collide
* Lunch on our own
* BBQ with family
* Harry Potter
* Reunion – we took Joby
* Squirt guns
* 4-square
* Web access
* Beer!
* Frisbee
* Pool
* More beer, and pizza
* Brunch with Eliz’s brother’s family
* Puddlejumper with Buffy
* Long flight with the young private
* Home.
* Unpacking
* Repacking
* Dinners
* Departures

Goodbye for now, love. See you in half a year, or two seasons, however we choose to measure the time. Help me make it go quickly?

I suppose I should write something. After all, it’s been a year since I began this leg of the journey.

A year ago I’d just finished my first week of working at Council, living in DC, and learning how to live outside my comfort zone.

A year later I’m back in Davis, living far more independently than the last time I was here, and learning how to adjust my comfort zone to accommodate who I’ve become.

I catch myself missing my life in DC, especially with the weather turning and the leaves beginning to fall. Twelve months ago I was still infatuated with an idealized version of the past. I still am, though the nature of that past is mutable and scintillating. Looking back on a year ago is like gazing through a soap bubble. Some things are blown large, others pushed to the edges, colors shifted and movement exaggerated. I’ve changed, too. From pushing myself to expand my boundaries and get Out! each weekend, I am pushing myself to be satisfied with this smaller circle.

I know now that I can survive and even begin to thrive without my California circle. I know that I cannot go long without seeing people whom I love. I need a touchstone every month or so to reassure me that I have not lost them, that they are still there though our lives move in different paths. I could do it again – I could return to DC and forge a new happiness. I catch myself longing for that larger, faster life.

I also catch myself in moments of contentment and happiness, and I wonder how long I can make them last. Where once I would have loved to remain in Davis, I find now that I am looking to the next place. I am not totally happy with the rhythm of my life right now, but it is working for me far better than the last iteration. I get in plenty of travel, and in the last six years my appetite for travel has only increased. I’m feeling a lot more at home now than in the last apartment I inhabited. But this is not where I will remain forever.

I feel as though I’m rushing with a current toward an edge, as though the spring will bring with it a torrent of change. Where two years ago that spring was full of lassitude and aimless uncertainty, and a year ago a mix of entrapment and excitement, this one promises greater confidence and clarity.

Check with me in a few months to see how I feel then. I am far, far better off now than a year ago, and that was better than the year before. I’m getting closer, ever closer, and one day I shall arrive.

With the amount of travel I’m racking up this summer, I will have many, many frequent flier miles. Let’s hope I have the time to make use of them.

My little one-bedroom apartment is great, but it’s lonely and expensive to live here on my own. Therefore, I’m making arrangements to move into a shared house – I don’t know which one from my list yet, but I’ll be saving between $300 and $500 a month by moving. Yes, it’s a bit stressful with all the travel going on, but I think long-term it’ll definitely be worth it.

ACCESS 4-H is moving along well. I lost a lot of confidence in the last couple of weeks, but after 10 days with Bob, Jon, and Jess it’s back and much improved. I was getting overwhelmed with everything going on … now I’m still busy but I feel like I can handle it. That’s good news for me.

So yes, I haven’t been blogging much, and I probably won’t be for a while. But I’m still alive and moving fast.

If you haven’t yet noticed, the link to the left will take you to Flickr and my photo albums there.

Enjoy.

So a couple of weeks ago, as I was in the throes of my homesickness, my boss (who is awesome) offered me the chance to return to California. Specifically, Davis.

So all my plans got tossed in the air, I’m moving in less than two weeks, and I have the joy of coordinating all the ACCESS stuff plus packing and finding an apartment and dealing with the moving of all my stuff between Ojai and Davis (again), aaaand oh yeah. Steven and Allison are getting hitched on the 5th of April. I depart DC with all the stuff I’ve accumulated here on April 3. On April 8 I head north from Ojai with said stuff, plus all the stuff from my previous residences.

Yup.

Color me busy.

On my wish list:

1. Sweaters. Lovely warm sweaters. Loose turtlenecks, pullovers, layer-able sweaters… it’s cold here.

2. A Garmin or similar device … since I’m planning to drive out here in April and will be exploring the east coast in the spring and summer, seems like a smart thing to have.

3. Friends for exploring and hanging out here. I dearly, sorely miss my people back in California, but if I’m going to make this work I need people here, too.

4. Travel vouchers for Sacramento, Seattle, and Burbank/LA. Those are my ports of call and I intend to visit them as often as possible.

It is February.
I am sick.
I am lonely in a town that does not feel like home.

I am doing my best to focus on the hopeful things – my benefits paperwork is mostly done, my cell phone works again, I have a job, I have people who love me – but as is often the case in this recipe for despair, I need more and more support from those people to get through the day.

The lack of human contact with the people I love is debilitating. I miss you, I miss all of you. Please call me.

I am a creature of contradictions, frustrations, and easy joys.

Seattle and surrounding areas were gorgeous this weekend – snow, sunlight, friends, boyfriend, explorations, roses, and chocolate. I managed to acquire the flu from a coworker so I’ve spent the last few days popping pills to keep the fever down but apart from the sick I had a fine old time.

March approacheth, with all the huge project milestones and beta and visitors and friends and conferences… birthday and festivals and springtime. April with its copious travel to California. I am a springtime kind of girl.

I find it harder and harder to resist the idea of returning to the west coast. I am also becoming more and more comfortable in this city. I’m not really sure how these two reconcile themselves with each other, but here I am. I am searching for housing without really wanting to do so, which is an awkward frame of mind to be in.

My cell phone got bricked last week – by which I mean that a “software update” allegedly from AT&T turned my cell phone into a beautiful, expensive brick. The warranty replacement phone should arrive soon, but in the meantime I am without calling ability. Perhaps I’ll try some of you on Skype.

Work is busy, stressful, pressured, and rather satisfying. I come home too exhausted to think very clearly, but I am glad to have full days.

I have roses and chocolates on my desk. I’m cautious in believing that this is a happy February but here is the evidence in front of me, denying the last five years’ experience. I can’t describe how relieved I am.

It’s not that I don’t have my share of disappointments and frustrations, it’s more that I’ve got far more things keeping me interested and hopeful in the world than I’ve had in previous Februaries. I’ve their experience to remind me that it does get better – indeed, look at where I am right now.

Now, if only I could straighten out the cell phone, housing, and need for a teleporter… I’d be set.

Yes, the transitions continue. It’s … strange, how easy and how hard it is to play at being an adult here.

I’m still a college-style internet geek. I’m the youngest person actually at Council right now, soon to be the youngest non-intern employee (more about that when it’s finalized). I’m living in Warren Hall still, starting to look around at other housing options. So much has changed since those first few months of college but I still feel like the same person.

I’m a grown-up now, right? Most of the time I don’t really feel like one. Believe me, I’m not in any hurry…

Sometimes I think a little long-term motivation would help. I’m getting closer to figuring out what I want to do for that long term. What I’m doing right now looks like it’ll work for a good long time – I hope so, certainly.

Being here has given me, to exercise that overused cliche, a little more perspective. It’s easier to deal with the losses of home and childhood when I’m in this city, I think. I can walk along the west end of the Mall and see the names, symbols, ghostly reminders of others who have lost far more than I have. These things bring me closer to my loved ones, at least in mood and heart.

I’m always at the threshold of something. It’s an exciting, intimidating, exhilarating feeling. I’d rather be a little stressed than bored.

Meanwhile, I have family and friends to love, I have a city to explore, someone whose visits I anticipate like Christmas, and the promise of more good things to come. It makes dealing with the downs so much easier when I’ve got hopes like these.

I realize I haven’t been talking about the nature of my work lately.

Just assume that 4-H at the national level owns over 100 domains. Many of them redirect to each other, but it’s still a gigantic headache. This dates back to the days when every new initiative or corporate partnership or idea or whatever automatically deserved its own domain name.

Insert web-wide confusion here.

I can’t really talk about the fun things we’re designing and playing with, and really, it’s not us doing the coding. We’re just the buyers. And, as the customers, we’re right. Right?

ACCESS 4-H

We’ve been exploring all the many tools for online collaboration, social networking, statistics-tracking, and web-based learning we can. The goal is to incorporate ALL of these in a single, unified national 4-H web presence. If even half the things in the works go live, this project should significantly change the way 4-H does its magic – for staff, volunteers, and youth.

Here’s what I hate. I hate not being able to talk about it, because it’s seriously interesting stuff. I hate not being able to pick the brains of my friends for specific ideas, because that’s what I love doing.

It’s looking likelier and likelier that I’ll get to do that soon, though.

Beta approacheth.

One of my little projects (that I *am* allowed to mention in public) has been the navigation fixing and general format changing of Clover Corner News. Expect my fix to go live in 2 weeks – January 1, baby.

Cryptic, I know, but believe me, I’m having fun with it.

I’m also learning a lot along the way. Allison and Greg may remember the failed attempt to teach me CSS. Playing with Movable Type templates and whatnot has made me, while certainly not fluent in CSS or PHP by any means, definitely able to tweak my way to satisfaction.

To sum up…

I am getting paid to geek out on the internet. Seriously. This is kind of awesome.